


swimming

by kuntens



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Badly Used Metaphors, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Metaphors, Selectively Mute Mark Lee, aka markhyuck communicate by sign language or morse code, idk what to say. oof, meaning he doesnt speak much unless with people he trusts, mostly fluff frankly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 00:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20300680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuntens/pseuds/kuntens
Summary: mark loves donghyuck and donghyuck loves mark. it should be that simple except it never is.





	swimming

**Author's Note:**

> so i happened to come across [this](https://pin.it/r6e4mixdgzcn4b) prompt and it'd be a crime if i didn't write at least one drabble about it. you want something done, you get it done yourself.
> 
> not beta-ed, not proofread
> 
> _warnings for very lightly implied depression, ptsd, self harm; selective mutism_

Mark isn’t a man of words.

For starters, meeting new people makes him nervous which is why to this day he still doesn't have more than five of them- five because Donghyuck never was and will never be just a friend. Most of times he ends up tucking himself behind Donghyuck's smaller frame, hands clenched and tugging onto Donghyuck's shirt.

Donghyuck has been there for Mark since the beginning after all, hasn't he? They were attached by the hip almost since birth. Mark knows he probably was there when Donghyuck first learned to walk and Donghyuck probably was there when Mark first spoke. Donghyuck and Mark. Mark and Donghyuck. Two halves of one apple. You can't mention them apart, not for long at least.

_They_ were never apart to begin with. Mark's life was never easy, from the very start. He's a ship crash survivor trying to keep afloat in the raging ocean and Donghyuck's the piece of wood he's holding onto so that he won't drown. If Mark is still here after countless attempts at _drowning_ and many, many scars engraved in his skin, it's all because of Donghyuck's support.

In the aftermath of the _ship crash_ when Mark was first trying to figure out how to _swim_, was when his voice first left Mark. Despite Donghyuck's Little Mermaid jokes to cheer him up and nudging Mark- but never pushing him too far- to speak his mind, it was impossible. That was the right word, impossible. Mark doesn't remember how many times he opened his mouth to speak but his voice just didn't obey. Nothing came out other than a sharp breath.

Sign language was Donghyuck's idea too. In fact Mark didn't understand shit when Donghyuck first signed him a simple sentence- to this day, Mark _still_ doesn't know what he said. He even forgot what the signs were. The point is that it worked.

It took a few years for Mark to figure out how to _swim_ and that was when he decided to force himself to speak up, at least on occasions. He was the most comfortable around Donghyuck, Jeno's presence was soothing and the other boys would probably commit murder to hear Mark speak again. So it sure was the best choice not to let them get in jail.

_"This is my first time making pizza," says Donghyuck with a soft brown curl hanging over his eyes as he serves it. "I'm spoiling you."_

_Mark chuckles as he tastes it. When he parts his lips afterwards, his words come out clumsily. "You're not doing a great job at it."_

_"You-" The plate slips from Donghyuck's fingers and shatters on the ground. "Mark!"_

_"What?" An innocent smile takes over Mark's lips._

_"You speak for the first time in years and it's to make fun of my cooking skills!" Donghyuck's lower lip sticks out in a pout._

_"Cooking skills?" Mark lets out an awkward chuckle. "You have none."_

_Donghyuck pouts further and hits Mark's shoulder with the back of his hand. A second later he's holding Mark tight to his chest in a way Mark doesn't ever remember doing. He'll never forget the teary smile on Donghyuck's face. Ever._

That, and more, is the reason why Mark is lying awake beside Donghyuck on too late at night.

Sharing beds is no big stuff when you're best friends _and_ roommates, and at least one of you isn't mentally stable. Mark often slides under Donghyuck's blankets when he isn't comfortable enough to sleep. They settled it long ago that it's fine. Donghyuck lets him cuddle too, Mark doesn't think he'll ever find something that comforts him more than Donghyuck's sweet scent tickling his nose.

He really _is_ in love.

It all comes down to that, Mark is in love with Donghyuck. Makes sense, doesn't it? Best friends since birth, spent years together, it only makes sense for them to end up together. Fairytale ending, happily ever after.

Unlike how most of these stories go Mark doesn't have any doubts that Donghyuck loves him back. It shows, it all shows in the way Donghyuck lazily tangles their fingers together under the tables when they're desk mates, the way Mark often catches Donghyuck staring at him but doesn't say anything. Mark hears Donghyuck speak under his breath sometimes, most of it is incoherent mumbling but there are bits about Mark too. Whenever Donghyuck senses Mark's eyes on him he pushes a smile on, pretends he never was speaking to begin with. Mark would never not notice the tint of red blooming on Donghyuck's cheeks.

Mark loves Donghyuck, Donghyuck loves Mark. It really should be that simple except it never is.

There are never enough words for Mark to speak. Whenever they're in the same room Mark can't think of anything else, Donghyuck fills up the entire room and pushes everything and everyone out of Mark's mind. Mark can't even breathe properly. He's learned how to talk, at least in small sentences, over the course of years. But Donghyuck with so much ease turns him so flustered that the multilingual Mark Lee's tongue ties itself into a tight knot and all of his vocabulary perishes itself with a poof. Donghyuck, just like how he often teases Mark, makes Mark feel so dumb and only very little of it has to do with the fact that Donghyuck always gets the better grades. Mark forgets everything when he thinks of Donghyuck, that simple.

Mark could sign it out for sure, or use morse code like they do when they're in public and in need of a private conversation. It happens more often than it should as Mark can't take being in public for too long. When it does Mark simply taps his fingertips on Donghyuck's arm, signaling he wants to go. Donghyuck never refuses him.

The thing is Mark doesn't want to half ass it. He craves to do it properly, lock his eyes with Donghyuck's shining beautiful ones and tell him how much he loves him. Again. And again. Until his voice goes sore and he can't speak. He's going to talk as much as he hasn't done since the _ship crash_ and ensure Donghyuck knows how much Mark loves him.

That, and Mark has signed him too many platonic "I love you"s that he's worried Donghyuck is going to misunderstand. _Again_.

Right now Donghyuck is curled beside Mark, face buried in his pillow breathing slow and steady. As creepy as it likely is, Mark enjoys watching Donghyuck sleep. For some reason it soothes him.

With a hint of courage blooming in his heart Mark raises one shaky hand, brushing his fingertips against Donghyuck's chocolate hair. It's silky and soft on Mark's skin, tickling as Mark's hand moves down carefully. He rests the digits on Donghyuck's nape, swallowing thickly in fear he's going to wake Donghyuck up. His eyes jolt up to check. Donghyuck hasn't noticed anything.

Mark lets out the breath he hasn't even noticed holding and shifts himself so that his hand can rest between Donghyuck's shoulder blades.

What even _is_ he doing? Touching Donghyuck as if just watching him wasn't creepy enough? Mark should really just get off the bed and not look at Donghyuck ever again. Never.

Well, one thing to keep in mind: Mark's in too deep love to leave.

It takes him a moment to notice his fingers tapping on Donghyuck's back. And being the sappy dude he is it's not even a mindless rhythm, neither is it a song's beat- even a love song's beat would be less embarrassing than this.

He's fucking tapping _I love you_ in morse code.

Can't someone shoot Mark already?

He yanks his hand away as if he touched the flames of hell itself. Mark's hand shakes like it's minus thirty degrees outside and he just went outside naked. This might just be the dumbest thing to have come out of Mark's mind and fair enough, most of his ideas are dumb. So, so damn dumb. But this takes the cake. It can't get worse.

Famous last words.

As Donghyuck's body shifts and his beautiful long lashes flutter open Mark gets the urge to slap himself. He probably _should_, for the record.

"Why do you look like you just kicked Snowy out into the street?" Donghyuck's raspy morning voice- it isn't even morning, it's more of an I-Just-Got-Woken-Up-In-Middle-Of-The-Night-By-My-Annoying-Best-Friend-Slash-Boyfriend voice- stirs something in Mark's stomach.

Mark raises a foot to point at the white ball of fur sleeping on the edge of the bed. "He's alive." The Samoyed puppy was one of Jeno's jokes -"So you'll never forget me!"- and the two simply adopted the dog even though they're both cat people. How do you say no to a puppy that cute? Snowy was cute too.

Donghyuck rubs his knuckles against his eyes. "Well, good for him... and I love you too, in case I wasn't dreaming about that."

"Of course he-" Mark catches himself from speaking in the break Donghyuck took between his sentences. "You... you do?"

Donghyuck lets out a small chuckle and cups Mark's cheek, hand cold against it. "In case you missed it, I love you dumbass. I always have."

The elephant supposedly sitting on Mark's chest decides to make its leave.

And there goes the tiny bit of courage he had for speaking. Thanks brain. Your help is much appreciated. Love ya.

Mark lifts his hand until it covers Donghyuck's one on his cheek and starts tapping, this time firm and confident. "_I love you too. I loved you for years now._"

Donghyuck closes his eyes, lips twitching into the most beautiful smile Mark has ever seen as Donghyuck begins clicking his finger too. "_Of course you didn't tell me._"

"_You know I'm an idiot,_" Mark replies, a snort escaping his lips.

"_You're my idiot now._" Donghyuck chuckles too, it's all natural for them to communicate like this.

It takes a good three minutes and countless deep breaths for Mark to be able to tap one more sentence. "_Can I kiss you?_"

Donghyuck lets out a ragged breath, nodding frantically. "I thought you never-"

And like that, Mark's lips stop Donghyuck from speaking out loud.

Mark is one step away from losing his damn mind. No different than as if he's hanging on the edge of a hill and dancing like he doesn't care if he falls. First of all, Donghyuck's lips aren't soft and sweet like it usually goes in books- Mark already knows his hatred for lip balm, how chapped Donghyuck's lips are prove that again. Mark is sure Donghyuck's lips are going to cut his own ones. And sweet? Mark would be flat out lying if he said that. If anything, the taste of that cheap gum Donghyuck likes to chew whenever he isn't eating doesn't go anywhere.

Mentally noting to buy Donghyuck lip balm someday, Mark sneaks his hand around Donghyuck's waist and brings him closer. Donghyuck tangles his fingers into Mark's hair- dirty hair that makes even Mark go 'ew', that's real love right there- as he lets out a small sigh. He's kissing Mark with hunger, with longing of years, as if he hasn't drunk water in a while and Mark is the water he craves. Or to make it more accurate, Mark is the coffee Donghyuck craves because Mark doesn't doubt Donghyuck consumes more coffee than water.

Either way, all air has already left Mark's lungs when they break apart- as if Donghyuck's parted lips still aren't hovering one inch from Mark's ones. The deep breath that Mark fills his chest with feels like the first proper one in years.

That's when he realizes he's lied to himself about struggling to keep afloat. Mark has only held his breath underwater trying not to suffocate to this day. Only _now_ he's sticking his head out and breathing properly.

Mark is so glad he kept swimming.

He clears his throat to say the sentence he wanted to out loud. "I l-"

"-please brush your teeth before bed, love," Donghyuck whines, hand smacking Mark's chest in a playful manner. "Kissing you was one hell of a task."

Mark blinks once. Twice. "Here I was trying to be romantic."

Donghyuck winks. "And I'm telling you to keep your personal hygiene."

"Remind me why I love you again." Mark slaps his own forehead, eyes closing.

Silence.

Mark peeks with one eye. "What?"

Donghyuck's lips are curled in an amused smile. "I just made you say it out loud, see."

Mark's dumbass mind takes a moment to put the pieces together. "I... wait, oh my god I just said-"

"-that you love me?" Donghyuck looks like he's barely holding his laughter. "Yup. No worries, it was cute."

"You think us bickering is _cute_?" Mark hopes he sounds as unbelieving as he feels.

Donghyuck nudges Mark's thigh with the flat of his foot, grinning. "You knew what you signed up for."

Mark sighs very, very deeply. "Wish I hadn't done that."

"Sorry, there are no receipts!" Donghyuck is too cheerful for 3 in the morning. "I love you, you love me, the deed is done!"

"Lee Donghyuck," Mark's eye twitches. "I hate you with every inch of my being."

"That's not a lot of inches." Donghyuck's giggle manages to get a groan out of Mark.

This might just be the longest night in Mark's life.

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/wayvrising) ┆ [cc](https://curiouscat.me/wayvrising)


End file.
